


say what we wanna do

by thegrayness



Series: Rosebudd Writes February Prompts [6]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Ice Cream, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22620229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrayness/pseuds/thegrayness
Summary: David tries to joke with Patrick about Alexis and Ted engaging in 'cyber sex,' but Patrick doesn't think it's that ridiculous.For Rosebudd Writes smut prompt #8: skype sex (ok, so, there's not technically skype sex. i'm sorry. it's still ABOUT skype sex).
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Rosebudd Writes February Prompts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619479
Comments: 24
Kudos: 194





	say what we wanna do

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series I'm be doing for two of the [February Writing Prompts from Rosebudd Writes](https://rosebuddwrites.tumblr.com/post/190577309616/hey-yall-guess-whats-gonna-happen-in-february). The series will eventually be multi-fandom so please, please check the tags for each one if you decide to subscribe. I do intend to have a ficlet for most days so far.
> 
> These were all brainstormed with the usual suspects.
> 
> Title from Coloring Outside the Lines by misterwives.

“Oh my god, did I tell you that Ted and Alexis were attempting to engage in _cybersex_ the other day?” David said, letting out a laugh at the absurdity of it all. In the midst of his competition with Stevie, he'd forgotten to share that nugget with Patrick.

Patrick let them into his apartment and hung his keys on the row of hooks next to the door. “Hm, I don’t know. Good for them, I think. It must be hard being away from the person you love for 6 whole months,” Patrick said while toeing off his shoes. 

David choked out another laugh. “Uh, sure, but… _skype sex_ , Patrick? I don’t think so.”

Patrick just smirked at him and shrugged. “Okay, David.” He went into the kitchen to grab the ice cream David had been thinking about all day. They’d gone to the Cafe for dinner, which was on the good side of adequate for once, and now the plan was to snuggle on the couch with ice cream and whatever Patrick decided to watch—it was his night to choose. 

David crowded him against the counter once he had the ice cream. “Are you saying you… _would_ have skype sex?” Patrick didn’t answer, just leaned up and kissed David’s cheek before turning around to get bowls down from the cabinet. David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist from behind, resting his chin on Patrick’s shoulder. “You _would,”_ he murmured teasingly, brushing his lips across Patrick’s ear. 

“Maybe,” Patrick hedged, scooping a generous portion of ice cream into each bowl. “But I guess I would be by myself since you seem to have a lot of anti-cybersex feelings.” He turned around, pressing David’s bowl into his chest. David grabbed it and got them both spoons before leading the way over to the couch. 

David was torn between diving headfirst into his ice cream and discussing this skype business _at length_. He settled on taking a few bites as Patrick queued up The Americans before bringing it up again. “So _hypothetically speaking_ …” he said as Patrick took a huge bite. “What would we do on a skype… session?”

Patrick grinned at him, licking a bit of ice cream off his lip before swallowing. “Well first we would finish our dessert,” he said, turning his attention back to his bowl.

David huffed out a breath and grumbled wordlessly. The ice cream was _exquisite_ so it wasn’t exactly a hardship, but just the idea of Patrick _wanting_ David so much he’d be willing to do… something over _skype_ made David shift his hips against the couch. 

He finished his ice cream and set his bowl on the coffee table before adjusting his position on the couch so he was facing Patrick, one knee up on the cushion. “So!” David said, folding his hands in his lap. “Skype…” He continued, drawing out the _s_ and shimmying his shoulders gently. Patrick wasn’t finished with his own ice cream, but David knew he was drawing it out just to be a troll. 

With a few bites left, Patrick set his bowl in his lap. “Well. I just think if I was gone, or you were gone, for even a week, I’d just miss you so much.” He shrugged and picked his bowl back up to take another bite. 

“That’s sweet but I’m talking about sexy stuff.”

Patrick finally took his final bite of ice cream and deposited his bowl onto the coffee table. “I am too,” he answered, voice low and teasing. David reached out to push at Patrick’s thigh. 

“Go on.”

Patrick shrugged. “I don’t know, David, I just think it might be fun at the very least. You don’t think telling each other what we would do if we were together would be… sexy?”

David inhaled shakily. “Okay, yes, but that’s _phone_ sex.”

Leaning in and holding David’s hands in his own, Patrick said seriously, “What do you think skype sex _is_ , David?”

David scoffed. “I _know_ what skype sex is, Patrick.”

Patrick hummed and leaned in to kiss David’s cheek. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

_Bed?_ “It’s 9pm.”

Patrick just smiled. “Come on.” He stood up and held his hand out for David, who was very skeptical but, of course, slid his palm against Patrick’s anyway. They each grabbed their bowl with their free hands and Patrick steered them towards the kitchen to drop them in the sink, and then he tugged David over to the bathroom door. David hoped Patrick didn’t think they’d be doing anything in _there._ “Do your moisturizing and things, I’ll be out here.” He kissed David on the cheek again and turned to head over towards the bed. 

David blinked at his retreating back and then turned to start his skincare. 

When he emerged, exfoliated and moisturized, Patrick was in his sleep clothes, a white tee and striped pajama bottoms, sitting cross-legged at the bottom corner of the bed, facing the headboard. “What’s this?” David said, crossing over to the shelf with their clothes and changing into his own sleepwear. 

“You asked me what we would do in a ‘skype session,’ David. So here we are,” Patrick explained, twisting around to catch David’s eye. David still did not quite follow. 

“Am I supposed to hide in the bathroom and pretend we’re thousands of miles apart?” David snarked. He tugged his shirt on over his head and waited for further explanation.

“Sit over there.” Patrick pointed to the opposite corner of the bed. “I think your roleplay skills are advanced enough to handle this without the bathroom door separating us.” Patrick was smirking at him, and he had a feeling he was about to get a whole lot more than a simple skype sex idea. He was still feeling something between his hips from Patrick’s tone on the couch ten minutes earlier. 

David climbed onto the bed and mirrored Patrick’s position, resting his hands on his knees. “Okay, now that I’m here are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”

“I miss you,” Patrick said and David raised his eyebrows. “It’s hard being away from you for so long.” Patrick rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his fist. 

“Uh—I—” David stuttered. He was wholly unprepared for Patrick’s earnest little look of longing given the fact that they were in the same room, five feet away from each other. “I miss you, too?”

Patrick gave him a small smile, and David was going to melt right into the comforter. “Yeah?” He asked, shyly looking down at his lap. David swallowed audibly. 

“Um, yeah. Yes. I… wish you were back here,” he tried, trying to drop into his character of the lonely fiancé at home in his big lonely bed without his sexy fiancé to keep him warm. “Back home,” David continued, clearing his throat. “How’s… there? The—the hotel?”

Patrick’s grin widened, clearly pleased that David was going along with this. “It’s nice. The food is okay. You would like the pancakes.” 

David was filled with outrage. “You had delicious pancakes without me?” He demanded. 

Laughing quietly, Patrick soothed him. “I didn’t expect them to be delicious, it was a pleasant surprise. But I’m sorry for enjoying breakfast foods without you, David.”

Slightly mollified by Patrick’s apology, and by the fact that this was entirely fake, David continued. “I forgive you. But only because I miss you so much.”

“Noted.”

“What, um—” David swallowed, “—what are you wearing?” He asked, and then winced because he could obviously _see_ Patrick, would be able to see him on the screen even if they were thousands of miles apart. But Patrick didn’t comment. 

“Oh, this old thing?” He said airily, making David smile. “It’s my fiance’s. I wear it when we have to sleep apart.” David huffed out a laugh. 

“I see. It… it looks nice. Cozy.”

“It is cozy. I think that’s why he likes it. He likes cozy things. Soft things. Inviting things. I love that about him.”

This is the tenderest fake phone/skype sex David has ever engaged in. 

“He sounds—good.” _He sounds good?_ David was ready to quit whatever this game was. 

Patrick’s face lit up, then. “He _is_ good.”

David wanted to throw himself under the bed. He felt himself flush, he was sure his cheeks were an unattractive pink. “ _Okay_ ,” he said. 

“What’s that _you’re_ wearing?” Patrick barreled on, and good god, David _loved_ him. 

Because David was wearing his very favorite Comme des Garçons striped shirt that Patrick had bought him off eBay for his birthday. “It’s my favorite. My fiance bought it for me even though he doesn’t understand why anyone would pay hundreds of dollars for a t-shirt.” David knew he was smiling, wide and obvious.

Patrick laughed again and nodded. “He must love you a lot.”

David plucked at the material of the shirt against his stomach, looking down at his lap to avoid the pure sunshine he knew would be radiating from Patrick’s eyes. “He does.”

The two of them were quiet for a few moments and David looked around the room, anywhere but at Patrick. Just when David thought the game was up, he spoke again. “Will you take it off?” David snapped his gaze back to Patrick’s, who was looking at him intently and not laughing at all. David felt himself flush anew and gingerly removed his shirt with only slightly shaky hands. Why was he nervous? He was _marrying_ this man. Maybe Patrick would help him take it off. “I wish I was there to take it off for you,” Patrick whispered, and David whimpered, cursing his past self. This was surely _way_ worse than if they were _actually_ on different continents!

“Me too,” David breathed out, tugging the garment over his head and dropping it on the bed between them. “Can you take your shirt off, too?” Patrick smiled and nodded, pulling his off and placing it on top of David’s. 

David let his eyes rake over the newly exposed skin, letting his gaze linger on Patrick’s shoulders on his dusky pink nipples, on his forearms, on the softness under his navel. He was so focused on his study of Patrick’s body that he was startled when Patrick spoke again. “What would you do if we were together?” He asked.

“Kiss your shoulders,” David answered immediately, sliding his eyes to meet Patrick’s again. “A lot,” he added. Patrick’s cheeks were pinkening and he brought a hand to the opposite shoulder, brushing his fingers along the top of it. 

“Yeah? My shoulders?”

“You know I love your shoulders.”

Patrick hummed. “I love that you love my shoulders. I like when you kiss them. And bite them.”

“I would bite them. Leave marks—”

“—yeah—”

“—I should have done that before you left.”

Patrick nodded, shifting in his spot on the bed, and David noticed the very obvious tent in his pants. It sent a jolt through David, that Patrick was so turned on from… from _this_ that he was hard in his pajamas. 

“You can do it when I get back,” Patrick promised.

David nodded emphatically. “If I was there, I would push you on the bed and take off your pants.” He rushed the words out, worried he might not say them if he took his time with it. It was weird to say it because Patrick was _right there_. He could easily push Patrick down onto his back, tug off his pants, and swallow his cock all the way down. David rubbed his palm over his own half-hard dick at the thought. 

Patrick smirked at him, gaze clearly directed at David’s lap. “What are you thinking about?”

David took a deep breath. “Sucking your dick.”

“Do you want me to take my pants off? Help you envision it better?”

“I can envision it fine,” David snapped before blinking up at Patrick. “Yes, take off your pants,” he corrected. This was skype sex after all. 

Patrick kept smirking at him, climbing off the bed and stripping his bottoms off so he was completely naked. He got back on the bed and resumed his cross-legged position. “How’s that?” He asked, wrapping a hand around his cock and giving it a cursory stroke. 

David moaned softly, still palming his own erection in his pants. 

“David, take off your pants and show me what you’d do.” David practically scrambled off the bed to pull his pants down, and resettled quickly, licking his hand and getting a fist around himself. He moaned again, letting his eyes flutter closed, picturing himself on his knees in front of Patrick, licking his way up the side of his cock. 

“David,” Patrick called, and David’s eyes flew open. “Tell me what you’re thinking about,” he said, a hint of amusement in his tone. Oh right. Skype sex. This was a lot of work. 

“Why do I have to do all the work?”

Patrick raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to tell you what I’m thinking about? About how I want to shove you down on the bed and spread your ass and eat you out until you’re begging me to touch your cock?”

David groaned, speeding up his hand around his dick, gathering the wetness at the tip and smoothing it down his shaft to slick the way even more. “Yes, I love when you eat me out,” he said, voice high and breathy and ragged. “Love it when you get me open for your dick.” He didn’t realize his eyes were closed until he opened them again and saw Patrick playing with his nipple, pinching and pulling, as he stroked his cock at a steady pace. His eyes were locked on David’s hand. 

“You want my dick?” Patrick asked. _Like that was even a real question_.

“Yes,” David moaned, and he leaned forward, halfway across the bed when Patrick stopped him with a single fingertip to his sternum. 

“Uh-uh, David. We’re not on the same continent. I know how important it is for you to stay in character.”

David’s jaw dropped and Patrick’s smirk grew even bigger. “Right?” Patrick asked, eyes wide and falsely innocent as David dropped back onto his ass on his own side of the bed or globe or whatever the fuck, this time against the headboard so he could stretch his legs out in front of him. Patrick maneuvered himself so he was sitting in the same position, but still at the foot of the bed, a few inches up so he could lean back on one hand and keep his other around his dick. 

“Do you still want my cock, David?” Patrick asked, eyes hot and dark, pinning David in place. 

“Always,” David breathed. “Patrick, please.”

“I would give it to you, if we were together. How do you want it?” Patrick asked, and his voice was wrecked and his hand was losing its rhythm as he jerked himself. “You want me to fuck you?”

David whined. “Yes, after you lick me open I’d want you to fuck me, I’m ready,” he panted, fisting his dick, twisting at the head, so, so, so close to coming all over himself. “I’m ready,” he repeated.

“Yeah, I’ll fuck you until you come—you’ll come just from my cock—

“ _Patrick,”_ David groaned, his free hand flying back to grip at the bars behind him as his hips jerked and he came and came over his fist and his abs and his thighs, squeezing his eyes shut because it was all too much, too good. He groaned wordlessly again, his muscles starting to unclench though his hips still twitched with the force of his orgasm. 

“Oh, my god, David, I—” Patrick choked out as he arched his back and jerked himself through his own orgasm, come streaking up his chest as David watched him shake and bite his lips and jerk forward with each wave of pleasure. 

They were silent for a minute, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the space between them. When David got his breath relatively close to normal, he caught Patrick's eye, and then they were practically lunging towards one another. David gave a yelp when Patrick got an arm around his waist and almost tackled him into the mattress, the two of them bouncing a bit from the force. Their hands were messy, Patrick smearing come across David’s hip and David swiping some on Patrick’s shoulder. 

When their lips met through quiet giggles, it felt like they _had_ been separated by a continent. David was thrilled to be in Patrick’s arms again, to stroke his palms along Patrick’s shoulders, to push his clean hand into Patrick’s close-cropped hair. Their sensitive, softening cocks brushed together, pulling tiny whimpers from them both, but David wrapped his legs around Patrick’s hips anyway, opening his mouth for Patrick’s tongue, hot and insistent. 

“God, I missed you,” Patrick mumbled against David’s mouth, dragging his lips down to David’s neck. 

“I love you,” David breathed, pressing Patrick’s head closer, shivering at the scrape of teeth against his sensitive skin. “That was a really good idea.” He smiled as Patrick laughed against his shoulder. 

“Yeah? It was your idea.” He lifted his head and pressed another kiss to David’s lips. 

“That makes sense, I always have good ideas.”

“Mm, you do,” Patrick agreed and kissed him again, slow and sweet. “The best.”

They kissed until every movement made David’s body hair pull uncomfortably with nearly crusted-over come. “We need to shower,” David said.

Patrick kept kissing his neck. “Don’t wanna leave you,” he murmured. 

“We’ll squeeze in together.”

Patrick kissed him a few more times, gentle touches of lips, before he heaved a great sigh and sat up, straddling David. “Okay.”

“Okay,” David said, squeezing Patrick’s hips and nudging him off the bed. 

After their shower, after they donned their shirts that managed to escape ruin, they snuggled up in bed. David wrapped himself around Patrick, pressing his nose into his still damp hairline, laying kisses along his shoulder over his borrowed t-shirt until he heard Patrick’s breathing even out. He fell asleep moments later, lips snug against Patrick’s skin.


End file.
